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Five Guys Burgers and Fries

[post_intro] [/post_intro] Being able to say things like “I want Five Guys in my mouth right about now” and it coming off as a perfectly normal, reasonable sentence is only one of the benefits of...

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Subway

[post_intro] [/post_intro] Julia Roberts plays the same character in every movie. I’m tired of that shit. It got so bad she went meta in Ocean’s Twelve and played Julia Roberts. You know what place...

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Chick-fil-A

[post_intro] [/post_intro] Chick-fil-A, also known as Jesus Chicken, is one of the few fast food joints I would openly admit to enjoying. I don’t know what it is about them putting a chicken patty...

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Steak ‘n Shake

[post_intro] [/post_intro] There are very few reasons for anyone to venture forth into the disenchanted lands of Kendall. One is when you’re on the way to the zoo, another is a skating rink, and the...

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Pollo Tropical

Let’s slum it for a second so I can tell you all about how Pollo Tropical is man’s best asset besides opposable thumbs. One could pose a strong argument for La Granja being superior, but allow me to...

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In-N-Out Burger Miami

When I first heard about In-N-Out opening in Miami, I quickly navigated over to weather.com and searched for “Hialeah, FL” to see if Hell had frozen over. It was 68 degrees, so for Miami standards it...

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